#305 - Stumbling To The Finish Line

After the success from last night’s dictation session, I was able to get an extra hour’s sleep. And that extra hour made all the difference to how I felt.

My sleep quality was also improved by that small win.

I still felt drained and more inclined to stay in bed, but I dragged myself up and headed into the bathroom to get myself ready for the day. Robyn had alighted from the bed without waking me and was downstairs ready and waiting.

As a result, we left the house ahead of schedule and had an easy drive to the station. Even the dreaded lefthand turn was free from construction delays. We were the second car in line to turn, and we zoomed to the station, finding a premium parking spot near the front and on the aisle, making opening the car doors a breeze.

We walked in the cool morning air, taking our time to get to the platform. There was no need to rush. The train arrived a minute after week found our spot and we ended up boarding our train car first. It was a busy train, but we managed to find a spot together on the second floor.

I was too gassed to do any writing, choosing instead to close my eyes and get a little rest. Robyn followed suit, choosing not to read for the first time ever and get a little shut eye of her own.

By the next stop, it was standing room only, even on the upper floors. I was grateful to have a seat and the chance to get a bit more rest.

By the time the train arrived at Toronto’s Union Station I was feeling much better. We took the new route to work via The Esplanade. It was another beautiful morning, the sun was shining and the air was cool and perfect for walking. We both enjoyed the wider sidewalks and lack of vehicular traffic.

I put forward the idea to grab a breakfast sandwich at Au Pain Dore and Robyn thought it was a grand idea. We cut up an alley called Farhquar’s Lane, stepping carefully past some film and television workers who were putting away all their gear into a big truck.

Once past, we alighted on to Front Street just were the café was located. I ordered my usual grilled vegetable sandwich and Robyn got an egg and bacon croissant. It was only eight thirty, so we took seats outside the café and ate our sandwiches, all the while throwing little crumbs to some tiney birds who seemed used to getting their breakfast here.

It was great to just sit with my wife and have a quiet moment before the craziness of the work day started.

Shortly after arriving at work, I was called into my Producer’s office to have a meeting. I can’t reveal the details of the meeting, but it did involve asking me if I would like to take on some other duties. It seems from this conversation and others I’ve had with people in the industry that companies are starting to order shows again. It’s not a flood, but the water is flowing downhill once again.

I left the meeting both pleased and dreading what was to come. The days of coasting by were done for me and after I get back from the cottage I’ll have to start bringing my A Game again.

I got back to work stopping to greet people as they arrived. I continued making revisions yesterday and later switched to doing approvals. Almost all the paintings I ended up approving needed some type of revision of their own, which slowed down the process a little.

And then without warning, lunch snuck up on me. Well, Robyn did with an invitation to go to the cafeteria. We had leftovers from yesterday of roasted vegetables and Italian sausages and we reheated them in one of three microwaves that sit on the counter.

We joined some friends at their table and had a good chat while we ate our lunch. Back at my desk I returned to the task of approving and revising paintings. I was pulled into another meeting with my supervisor and the producer to talk about future plans. We all got on the same page, addressed some concerns and came to a consensus.

Then it was back to my desk again to finish the day with more approvals and revisions. I’ll likely spend tomorrow doing the same.

We packed up and left the studio by five, heading towards the Esplanade in search of the cool air, shade and wide sidewalks. Robyn reminded me to stop at the St. Lawerence Market to pick up some pomegranate seeds to take with us to the cottage. The Chicken Ruby is better with them than without.

And while in Rome, Robyn grabbed two cannolis from one of the bakeries and I snagged a Portuguese tart. Then we headed to the fruit market and had to wait a bit in line to pay for the pomegranate seeds.

Leaving the market, we headed back down to the Esplanade and walked in peace to the station where a train was just arriving on the tracks. Up the stairs, we found a spot along the platform and were in and seated on the bottom floor like we had reservations.

It was a busy train, but not so busy that people were standing in the aisles. I brought out my laptop right away to make sure I got some words in on the ride home. A woman sitting diagonally across from me was talking loudly on the phone to a colleague, using exaggerated expressions and tones. She seemed aghast as some issue with compliance or hiring practices? Who knows, because no one on the train was impressed the least bit. I think we were all thinking the same thing. So glad I don’t have to talk to her every day.

We got home without incident and Robyn left immediately with kiddo #1 who wanted to grab art and craft supplies for the cottage. I think there was talk of getting a book to read from our local Indigo as well. I was feeling a little tired from the day’s events and I went up to our room to watch some YouTube videos since I didn’t have a lot of free time yesterday.

The spa bubble machine called my name, and I didn’t have the will power to deny it. I think a good soak is just what the doctor ordered.

But before that could happen, kiddo #2 came into the room asking to borrow a nice brown duffel bag I found one day at Value Village. It’s the kind of bag you would use to deliver one hundred thousand in cash to seal the deal with some shady characters. Yeah. It’s a cool leather bag. It only cost me ten dollars, but the kid always wants to borrow that one. I think it fits in with his aesthetics.

Tired of him constantly asking to borrow it, I finally gave in and just gifted it to him. Never has a lad been so happy to receive a bag. I figure I’ll pick up another one the next time I venture to the village.

The soak in the tub was restorative, I came out feeling human again. Robyn and the kiddo returned home just as I was finishing up. I went down to inspect their haul. The kiddo purchased a V.E. Schwab novel, a sudoku, a cross word and a word search activity book.

From the art store she found some pixel art Lego sets, a paint by numbers set, and a yarn set to make characters from Toy Story. She has a very ambitious week planned for the cottage with all of these activities.

Robyn showed me a picture of the girl kiddo #2 has had dates with. In the photo she is wearing sunglasses and boots while holding up a large fish somewhere beside a small river. My first thought was that the girl looked like what his two best friends’ fictional child might look like. Robyn was thinking the exact same thing and we burst out laughing.

Robyn ate a salad for dinner when she returned, so it was every man for himself as far as dinner was concerned. There was some leftover sourdough that was getting to be a bit crusty to eat sitting on the counter. I took a few slices of that and fried them in some butter with finely diced garlic. I added cheddar to half of the bread and then topped it with some pomegranates. The bread was made very edible by the butter and heat. The garlic elevated it all and the cheese added a little gravity to the dish. The pomegranates added a little tart freshness that helped cut through all the fat and oils.

It’s at this point in the blog that I start dictating. The ride on the train home allowed me to write a little over 1200 words. I had another 300 words after resting and watching television. That means I have 4300 words to write this evening before I can go to bed. It’s currently 11:15 PM. Can I write 4000 words by 1230, or in an hour and 15 minutes.

Why not use this blog to run a small challenge, it seemed to work for me last night?

The only problem I see having this evening is the wear and tear on my throat which is not used to talking for such long periods of time. Waking up this morning I did feel soreness in my throat.

Whether that was due to my dictation the night before or from snoring I’m not sure. Chances are it was a little of both. Not that I’ll ever admit snoring when I sleep. This could be a matter of not enough training and/or warm-ups before beginning my dictation sessions. Or it could be sitting with incorrect posture, like having your neck bent forward.

I am sitting in my car as I dictate this, which is part out on the street. An East Indian couple just walked by but didn’t seem to notice me. This is perhaps why I choose to dictate from inside my car because it’s already mostly soundproof.

After dinner, such as it was, Robyn and I went upstairs to watch television. First we watched an episode of Silo which was very good. And the drama in the storyline is all working really well together. I feel the series is veering slightly from the books but not in any way that really matters. It could also be that I can’t remember everything that happened in the books, as it’s been some time since I read it. I think the author Hugh Howie did a great job on the short stories that make up this novel. And I think it’s part of Apple’s success that they use books that are already proven winners to make television shows from.

There aren’t many shows on Apple TV that I don’t like. And to be honest it’s more likely that I just haven’t had time to watch them. I wish other streamers would follow their example and put money behind books that have sold well but aren’t so well done that they cost a fortune to license them. Rings of power on Amazon Prime is a perfect example of this going wrong.

One problem dictating in the car at the end of a warm July is that the car gets really hot even in the evening. I have to keep cracking open the door in order to let some fresh air in. I didn’t have this problem last night, most likely because I started it later in the evening is the car was parked in the driveway which gets more shade.

Across the street the large seniors home has every single light on it every single room. I guess this means the drywall or say painters are now doing their work. I imagine by the time we get home the cottage there might actually be residents living in the building. I hope having people living there will added some life to the building, but not so much as to be disturbing.

Neither Robyn or I even started packing for our trip. Normally, I take the Friday off before we go up. This gives me the day to prep the car, packed my bags and go around the house making sure everything’s in order. Life has just been too busy this year to do that.

A young fellow just jogged by the car, but because the door was open letting fresh air in, he noticed me sitting in the passenger seat staring at the glowing screen of my laptop. He probably thought I was jerking off while watching porn.

But back to the trip, I’ll have to spend tomorrow everything is ready. One of the most important things will be to mount the cargo carrier to the roof rack of my car. And then I need to make sure they pack all the things that make my stay enjoyable. Some of these things are small objects, like extension cords, power bars in the instant coffee. I like to get up every morning and mix up the coffee and then sit down at the dock or in the sheltered porch. I often get to see all kinds of wildlife roaming across the grounds if I am quiet and still enough.

It’s 1130 and I wrote about 800 words in that half-hour. Not the pace I hoping for but still faster if I was typing this by hand. Another neighbor just drove past and parked their car in the driveway, and I’m sure were wondering what I was doing. Leaving the door open attracts too much attention and decreases the accuracy of the dictation software.

At this point I have approximately 3400 words left to complete which would normally take me somewhere around 3 ½ hours if typing by hand. I believe I can do it in half that time using dictation, at least from a limited data set I have from last night.

Sitting in my car makes it obvious how many large transportation trucks use this road in the evening. It’s amazing how loud they are compared to a regular car. We also get quite a few motorcyclists revving their engines and racing down the long stretch.

On a side note: the dictation software wrote revving their engines as revving their opinions. That gave me a bit of a chuckle!

I’m sitting here in the car amazed at how well it holds the heat in even with the passenger side door open. I’d love to be able to shut it right now the block out all the road noise.

I just had to take a quick break to get some water from the garage. I cracked open a can of Perrier and took a swig. Something set off a pain in my molars, probably the cold hitting a nerve. So, I ran into the house popped two Advils and grabbed a cough lozenge that has the ability to numb the throat. I figured my throat to use a little help anyways with all this talking. So is now midnight and I am further behind than I’d hoped to be at this point in the evening.

I have 2600 words written, meaning I still have 3200 words left to write. And if my math is correct that means in the last half hour and only wrote 200 words.

Absolutely terrible!

While were away secured and friends Paul and Laura to watch the house, water the plants, and feed the hamster, who goes by the name Timbit. We have some real Tim Horton fans here at the house. In fact, kiddo number two used to believe his name was Ohip Tim. I think his first email address was steepedtea at something something something. In fact we can’t go anywhere without having to stop at one of their locations, something that drives me nuts. I hate waiting in line for things.

I think one of the things I’m looking most forward to about being at the cottage, other than swimming and kayaking is getting a chance to read a book. I feel like it’s been so long since I picked up a paperback novel and just read it from front to back. Reading has become something I do short chunks, during small snippets of time throughout the week. In some days, even most days, I don’t get the chance at all.

I do love reading in the afternoon at the dock and in the evening when everybody else goes to bed.

I confess that tonight I am struggling to find the words to put down here in this blog. I’m feeling exhausted and my brain just wants to shut down. But those 3000 words are going to write themselves and I am the one who committed to this challenge. I just have to tough it out tonight and then one more day before the quota resets to normal.

Last year, I was thinking about creating a YouTube channel in which I read my short stories over top static or moving images. I never got around to recording any of the stories but I did create a YouTube channel. I even put a link to it from my website.

As time goes by, I still think I should do channel and make some content. I thought doing book reviews, and reviews, and entertainment opinions on movies might be interesting as well as providing story content. Ideally, there would be two channels, one for the stories and the other for everything else.

One of the reasons behind opening the channel is to collect subscribers who might become fans of my work. And YouTube itself is a perfectly reasonable way to make a living. I suspect I could connect with a lot more people that way.

I guess the biggest hurdle right now is that I am focusing on story and neglecting everything else. There isn’t much time left in my day to record video. And yet I think about the words of Tim Ferris who said, “what would this look like if it was easy?”

Is there a way to do a YouTube channel, that wouldn’t overtax my time and become a burden. That’s something I’ll be thinking about during my time off.

One of the things that didn’t stop me early on from recording was from lack of space where I’ve had to this kind of work. As I’ve mentioned before, our house is not very soundproof, and our kids aren’t very quiet. But they are very heavy-footed.

I thought about creating a sound booth in the basement, but that would mean working environment with a washing machine, a dryer, in a furnace running. Not exactly the greatest environment from recording anything. There are soundproofing room kits you can buy but they run upwards of $10,000, and there’s no guarantee you’ll get 100% soundproofing. It turns out completely soundproofing a room is a very difficult thing to do. In fact, you need to start from the base structure and work your way up to get to sound deadening.

Not that I need 100% silence.

It’s now 12:30 AM, and have now written 3200 words. That leaves me with approximately 2600 words to write before I can go to bed. And I really want to go to bed. That means I wrote about 600 words in the last half hour. Not great, but not terrible.

I cracked the door on the car open again because it’s getting too warm in here. One of the downfalls of writing in a car in the middle of summer. But the weirdest thing I’ve ever done but I’m sure it looks odd to passersby.

We watched the daily show after watching silo. In the program the comedians played clips of Donald Trump at the funeral of Lindsay Graham. It was a bit of an embarrassment to watch the President of the United States say the most uncouth and ridiculous things that a man’s memorial. I can’t say you ever liked Lindsay Graham, but he did spend his life serving his country. I’m sure he deserved better than all the ass-kissing that the other guests did during their eulogy speeches. And I suppose it would be one thing if these people were kissing Mr. Graham’s ass, but it was Donald Trump’s ass being smooshed.

It is pretty sickening to turn a man’s funeral into your own personal propaganda. If there was ever a sign that the president of the United States was a narcissist, it was at this eulogy. It is also that at one point Trump gave out Graham’s personal cell phone number. He then suggested people give it a call and try their luck. What a sick thing to say.

I wonder what Graham’s family was thinking in that moment. And yet Graham is one of the reasons Trump’s in office. So maybe you get what you deserve in the end.

Tomorrow is Friday and I still have to write my mentor assignment. I’m not sure if I’ll have the bandwith tomorrow with getting all my work complete and then running around getting things sorted before leaving for the cottage.

I can’t even remember all the things I need to get done before we leave.

Last year I made a cottage list on my notes app and that helped me to remember things I would have otherwise left at home, like a power bar and extension cord. Every year we bring up an electric grill. Cooking eggs and bacon is ahard to do when all you have is a nine-inch frying pan. And because it’s a rental cottage, the frying pans aren’t very good ones. Everything seems to stick to them.

All the knives are dull as well. If we were bringing both cars, I would have brought my electric knife sharpener along and spent some time sharpening the cottage knives.

Most years, the owners of the cottage gift us a one-liter bottle of their homemade syrup. They left it on the cottage kitchen table. We finished the entire litre last year while we were there. In our defense, there were six of us up there. And we tried maple syrup on just about anything. It was surprising how many things it went well with.

As it approaches 1 AM, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the parking enforcement prowling around our neighborhood. There is a bunch of construction happening in the area that is forcing people to park on the street. So maybe there is a moratorium on parking enforcement in our neighborhood this week. I would be pissed if I was forced to park on the street and then received a ticket for it.

The parking police are very thorough around here. There must be a quota system set up that the officers need to meet. The are on a parked car like salesman at a blue and yellow electronics store.

It’s one AM now and I have written only another 625 words. I guess that’s not too bad. I switched back to typing for the last half and hour to save my throat. And a mosquito managed to find its way into the car. I should have known that would happen eventually.

But with those extra words written, I still have a little over 1900 words left to go.

Getting back to our lovely parking officers.

The last time I got a ticket was when I forgot to move my car back into the driveway. I believe it cost me $50 for the privilege. That seems a bit scandalous for parking your car on a street with no other houses in front of your own house. It’s certainly a bit of a racket.

But most of the driveways in our city seem designed to prevent people from parking anywhere on the street. Maybe it is just a symptom of the houses being built too close together that makes it feel that way. I grew up in Niagara, and parking on the street was something everybody did. And there were plenty of spots to do it in most neighbourhoods. So, it wasn’t a commodity we had to fight over. It’s odd that in the city I now live in, which is considerably wealthier than where I came from, and populated by people who drive very expensive cars, has so few parking spots.

And speaking of getting tickets…It think it’s time for me to take a quick break and move my car into the driveway. It also gave me the chance to run the air conditioning for a few minutes to cool the car down a little. I guess my laptop gives off a bit of heat when the dictation software is running. It must use up a bit of processing power to render the audio into text.

The mosquito that got into the car is driving me absolutely bonkers. I can hear it flying around banging up against the glass and occasionally brushing against my legs. And as annoying as the buzzing is, it’s worse when the buzzing stops. And now I feel itchy all over even though this far as I can tell I haven’t got stung it. But with the little bloodsuckers it’s merely a matter of time before they get you. They are nothing if not relentless. They might even be worse than the kids.

Bugs are something we have to deal with at the cottage, but for the most part the bugs are gone in August. At least the blackflies are done for the season. We still have to deal with mosquitoes and the occasional fly, but I bring my Thermacell system with me. Usually, I have two or three of them running if I am using the barbecue, because that is when they are most likely to get me. But if I have my way this year, I won’t be barbecuing at all. I’m hoping not to have to cook very much. This year I am trying to do more pre-cooking and reheating.

I haven’t had time to download any shows or movies onto my iPad and watch at the cottage. I still have some old twilight zone episodes to watch. The last time we wash them was at the cottage and they were great for that venue.

It’s now 1:30 AM and I’ve written a total of 4450 words with 1400 words remaining. The desire to quit and go to bed is incredibly strong at this point. Luckily, I don’t have to get up until nine or 930 in the morning for work. No commuting tomorrow.

Thank the universe for that!

It occurred to me that all the days I’m working from home I could possibly use dictation to write while I’m painting. I have a set up already consisting of one of those microphones people where while giving Ted talks that plugs into my voice recorder. Or I could simply plug it in to my laptop and glance up every once in a while to make sure was working.

I’m not sure if I would be too self-conscious with Robyn working downstairs being able to hear me mumbling and stumbling for words. But it could be worth a try after all what have I got to lose. Other than my dignity.

I did try to use the set up with the micro recorder one year when we drove up to the cottage and I was in the car by myself. I found I was so busy concentrating on driving that I couldn’t come up with things to say or a story idea. So, I didn’t really do anything for the full three hours of driving. But I think that’s something that requires a bit more practice like these blogs.

One thing that motivates me while doing these blogs when writing short stories where the word count is important is seeing the numbers on the spreadsheet increase or decline. Seeing the number of words left to right drop below 1000 gives me a bit of extra energy, that small push I need to get across the finish line. And boy do I need that push tonight. I suspect tomorrow night will be the worst night of them all. The fatigue builds up all week and culminates into an impenetrable wall by the end of the month.

And on top of that, I have the added stress of getting everything ready for our vacation.

This year while at the cottage, I want to spend more time doing physical activities. Lying about no longer re-energizes me. I need the kind of energy that comes from doing exercise. At the cottage this will mean kayaking, swimming, and going for walks. Robyn is always good about taking walks every single day we are at the cottage. She also does this when we travel to all-inclusive tropical resorts. I usually stay behind when she does this, and by the end of the week I’m more tired than when I arrived.

Remember how much energy I used to get from running and playing hockey. Sure, you give everything you’ve got while you’re exercising but the next day you feel amazing and sometimes even right afterwards. My body is in no shape these days to exercise too rigorously, but I should be able to handle swimming in kayaking.

Previous years I kayak first thing in the morning and then right before dinner. The daytime kayak was often more rigorous due to the stronger winds and larger waves. And it mostly just exercised my arms and shoulders.

And when it comes to swimming we usually use floaties to lounge in the lake. This year I would like to actually do some real swimming, where the effort involved is higher and my whole body is engaged in the exercise.

I’d also like to spend more time in the water to benefit from the exothermic response where your body burns way more calories when submerged in water for longer periods of time.

Saturday and Sunday are going to be interesting for me this year. As we drove most of the day on Saturady and then unpack the car. I will need to write my assignment story on both days. I hope I give myself enough time to get it done. It’s a bit of a scheduling nightmare for me this week. But on Monday I am a free man who can enjoy the rest of his holiday in peace, hopefully feeling good about all the things I accomplished.

Or I could be crying tears because I failed at both endevours. Nah. Not going to let that happen.

I had also hoped to bring up a bottle of my homemade mead wine to the cottage this year. I have brought it up on precious stays, but I am out of the stuff I had bottled. What I have has been aging in giant demi-johns since about 2018. It should be more that ready for drinking, but I never got around to bottling it. There is a chocolate mead that I have been wanting to taste. The recipe comes from one of those renaissance reenactment groups from a fellow who calls himself Lord Rhys. He stated that the mead tasted best when aged for at least three years. I think I have him beat in the regard.

It’s now 2 AM and I have written five thousand two hundred and seventy-six words. I am so close to crossing this evening’s finish line that I can taste the victory, and it tastes like bed time.

I have less than six hundred words to go before my sweet, tired noggin hits pillow. My laptops battery is down to thirty percent, and it has entered power saving mode.  Will I finish before my trusty steed dies of malnourishment.

I’d really hoped to be in bed before 2 AM, but I did get a later start tonight, preferring to relax for a bit before getting down to work. Possibly an error in judgment on my part, but at least I am still conscious. At the time on previous nights, I felt like I was near death by the end of the session, wondering the whole time why I do this to myself month after month.

But as the quota counter drops below four hundred words, quitting seems like a fool’s errand.  The end is in sight. Whereas at the beginning, I find it’s best not to look at the numbers too much because the task at hand always looks impossible. The key so far has been to keep showing up. To keep pushing through the discomfort. It would be so much easier right now to be cuddled up in bed with my wife, or reading a fascinating novel, or watching a captivating show. Hell, even a mediocre show would do.

I need to remember the colossal effort it takes to make up for all the time I missed at the beginning of each month so that I put in the effort when it’s needed. All this writing is cumulative and missing even one day is one too many.

I think rediscovering dictation is going to be a bit of a game changer for me in August. I certainly hope it is. I feel like August has to be about getting things right. Applying all the lessons and trying out some new ideas. I’d also, once again, like to focus more on the fiction side of things versus the blogs. It’s just easier to do the blogs as far as the word count is concerned.

I have my science fiction novel to finish. That’s something I want to spend some time with at the cottage at least for an hour a day. After all, I still have the daily writing quota to achieve. That doesn’t go away just because I took a vacation.

My laptop battery is down to 24% and probably has more juice left in it that I do at this point in the evening. It’s been another grueling day. I am properly humbled by the enormity of the task and the self-inflicted stupidity that brought me to this point once again.

It’s looking now like I’ll finish today’s quota by two thirty and that will give me almost seven hours of sleep. About what I got yesterday. The difference is that getting up at seven and having to leave the house is far more painful that getting the same amount of sleep but getting to sleep in until nine or nine thirty and not having to leave your house. I’ll pick option number two every time.

And it’s time to call it a night.

Thanks for keeping me company on this crazy journey to become a professional writer.

Until tomorrow.